Do this right and you might even remain friends with the also-rans! I hope your choice becomes clear before too long. Alternatively, she may conclude that her expectations for the " multi-dater" were too high, and move on. In fact, if a woman discovers that the man she's dating is seeing other women at the same time, she always has the option of going out with other men herself. If each woman knows what's really happening, she won't feel betrayed if you don't choose her. Though all three women may want you to make a decision sooner, you must explain your need to get to know someone very well before you can make a commitment. What should I do?Ī: Take things slowly: It's OK to make sure you're with a great person who's good for you, but only time can determine that. I know I shouldn't have three gals at once - and that's making me more depressed. Since then, I've been having extreme bouts of loneliness. Then she died of a stroke three months after I lost my father. Q: After my wife died three years ago, I became involved with an old friend. Though she does not recommend topical estrogen for women who have had breast cancer, she suggests talking to your doctor about a slow-release estrogen ring. Feminist and cancer specialist Susan Love, M.D., has strong opinions on the use of hormones. Many doctors believe that estrogen-based cream is locally absorbed, which would make it safe for women who've had cancer. (Pair it with a silicone lubricant such as Pink or Eros.)
It must be used several times before you experience changes in the vaginal floor, but it should make a difference. Is there anything else I can try?Ī: Replens, an estrogen-free vaginal moisturizer, plumps up severely atrophied tissue. I've tried lubricants without success, and as a breast cancer survivor I've been advised against hormone therapy. Q: As a postmenopausal 60-year-old, I have terrible pain during sexual intercourse. You might also try making love right before you go to sleep that should reduce the likelihood of sexual dreams - and help the two of you finally get some shut-eye! Your erotic imaginings may feature another man finding your wife irresistible, but you can use those dreams to have hotter sex together in the here and now. And if your partner doesn't mind being woken in the middle of the night, why not use your heat to ignite her feelings and have sex on the spot? That will help you get back to sleep (and make her feel flattered by your attraction to her).Īnd this is, ultimately, an attraction to your wife: The dreams center on her she's the one you're in love with. If it fires up your relationship and is not something you're trying to actualize (as some husbands do), I'd agree with your doctor and say just enjoy the dreams. Ever heard of this before?Ī: Watching one's wife being made love to by another man is a relatively common fantasy - and a highly arousing one at that. My doctor says there's no reason to be concerned. The dreams wake me up, and they're so exciting that I can't get back to sleep. Now my energy and libido are both up, but I keep dreaming my wife of 45 years is having sex with other men. Q: I was put on AndroGel for low testosterone. Your sex fantasies and dreams can fuel hotter sex. So long as you are willing to take that risk, it's fine to enjoy the present. If you eventually find that one of you wants a bigger commitment than the other, there may be some heartbreak in your future. But sex has a habit of creating desire for emotional connection. If both of you can just enjoy great sex without wanting great love, more power to you. Is this normal at my age?Ī: It's quite normal - and how fantastic to meet a man (at any age) who can bring erotic joy and adventure into your life! The only thing I worry about is whether you can be in a relationship labeled "friends with benefits" without wanting more. Then I met a man (I'm 65 he's 61), and the sex is amazing! We call ourselves " friends with benefits." I'm delighted but a little scared. On the edgier side, you might try Henry and June, Wild Orchid, Sex and Luciaor The Story of O. Classics to check out include An Affair to Remember (both the 1957 original and the 1994 remake, Love Affair), Secretary (a bit kinky but ultimately sweet) and The Lover (set in French Indochina in 1929 and based on the true story of a young woman and her older paramour). also offers a variety of well-described videos.Īnd what about steamy movies? They're not porn, but they are exciting. Most of those from are narrated by respected sexologists several are designed for older couples. Q: Can you recommend good sex videos for older couples? My spouse and I would like to learn some new techniques, but a lot of the instructional websites we've seen advertised look flaky.Ī: You can get wonderful tips from videos - and they can be a turn-on, too.